The King Of Suck

David is Siân's husband Countersignatory in Common Law Union. Although - for quite understandable reasons - he keeps quiet very about it, he has also endured an awful lot of Murray Camps. Far more than any normal person would do before they conclude that they are never going to learn anything.

One of David's major distinctions in Murray Camp is in being recognised by the coaches as a sandbagger of the highest order. While he seems content to while away the day in Camp performing a seemingly endless (particularly if you are waiting at the bottom of a run for him) series of "pretty" short turns; come the race, you can't see him for dust. This is a major source of consternation and irritation to the coaches who are constantly on the lookout for new ways of provoking him into sustaining a major injury or even death whereby they can finally be rid of the sandbagging moron. Tactics employed here have included sending him through an icy mogul field with a pair of GS skis nailed to his feet and psychological torture with the use of personalised name tags reflecting a personal hobby whose existence he once confided in to a kindly coach in a moment of characteristic stupidity.

Unfortunately, in recent seasons David's appearances at Murray Camp have become fewer and fewer - so much so that many believe that he has become another victim of Bold's Syndrome.